Jace to Face

It's official. Chrysler and Fiat are now an item. A pair. Duo. Couple. Normally, hookups either elicit an "aww that's cute!," an "eww that's gross" or a "WTF." This is, decidedly, an opportunity for a collective utterance of the last. Chrysler, which I hear tell was once a great American institution long before I started life, will be "saved" by a union with Fiat. And we're slated to receive some of those Italian wares Stateside as soon as the coming year. If you're thinking this is awesome because Fiat oversees Ferrari, Maserati, and Alfa Romeo, stop. In fact, do me a favor and stop thinking altogether. Fiat primarily builds...you guessed it: Fiats. And those this year earned the incredible and unique distinction of being the least reliable cars offered in the United Kingdom. Dead, bottom, stonkin' last place. I'm entirely convinced that's something you have to try to achieve in a market that includes Peugeots, Citroens, Renaults, Seats, and Volkswagens. Well done then, Fiat. You've done it. So - and I mean this in as nice a way as possible - Dear Italians, please stick to cooking, building great tourist attractions, and lovemaking. Word is that you're good at those things. Keep your cars and leave the engineering up to the rest of us.

If Fiat hadn't invaded, Chrysler would be dead. Well, okay. I would miss the Viper. And they're not keeping that around anyway. So there you go.

EDIT: The Viper is apparently sticking around because Chrysler gave it to Fiat. In other news, the Jeep Panda. Again: "WTF?"