I've spewed endless criticism of Mercedes Benz for years. I attacked their vanilla styling, shoddy build quality, preposterous pricing...even their moneyed and annoyingly cliche consumer base. Everything about the marque had gone down the poopy pipe, and I'd had it with them. There was this irritating sense that the Mercedes folk had given up on making cars for drivers - that this was a company that catered to people who would be chauffeured if at all possible.
But Mercedes has been whispering of late about some soul searching, some re-invention. It's not something they'd mention publicly or shout about. No, they're above admitting having gone astray. Fair enough, but money is monsooning at R&D faster than Flo Rida could shower on a strip club, and build quality is creeping toward acceptable. The styling is still vanilla, but it's gone all chunky - so maybe vanilla with vodka. It's an alkie's car it is. And it's like they've actually listened to my whining because a stick shift is sitting in the base C-class, and they've started condensing their ridiculous, alphabet-soup model lineup. Joy of joys. And marketing's subtle hint at all these changes has come out thus: "This is the new E-class. This is Mercedes-Benz." All they need is Gerard Butler in a skirt, lots of camera filters, copious CG, and "we're rolling." Cue eight-pack Gerard. "THIS...IS......SPAARRR....wait..."
So the E-class, then. Generation nine is the latest and greatest sign of awesome returning to the em bee. All indications are that it's engineered properly for a change. It's definitely bursting at the seams with technology from Star Trek, and it's appropriately zoomy (even with the base V6) so you in your platinum-plated, warp-speed chariot can pass all the mere mortals in their tardy oxcarts on the highway. I even like the way it looks.
2010 E-Class Front 3/4
2010 E-class Int...whoops.
The Real 2010 E-class Interior. See it's the same as the Enterprise, just more comfy. And just look at that wood grain! It looks like a topo map!
But Mercedes has been whispering of late about some soul searching, some re-invention. It's not something they'd mention publicly or shout about. No, they're above admitting having gone astray. Fair enough, but money is monsooning at R&D faster than Flo Rida could shower on a strip club, and build quality is creeping toward acceptable. The styling is still vanilla, but it's gone all chunky - so maybe vanilla with vodka. It's an alkie's car it is. And it's like they've actually listened to my whining because a stick shift is sitting in the base C-class, and they've started condensing their ridiculous, alphabet-soup model lineup. Joy of joys. And marketing's subtle hint at all these changes has come out thus: "This is the new E-class. This is Mercedes-Benz." All they need is Gerard Butler in a skirt, lots of camera filters, copious CG, and "we're rolling." Cue eight-pack Gerard. "THIS...IS......SPAARRR....wait..."
So the E-class, then. Generation nine is the latest and greatest sign of awesome returning to the em bee. All indications are that it's engineered properly for a change. It's definitely bursting at the seams with technology from Star Trek, and it's appropriately zoomy (even with the base V6) so you in your platinum-plated, warp-speed chariot can pass all the mere mortals in their tardy oxcarts on the highway. I even like the way it looks.
2010 E-Class Front 3/4
2010 E-class Int...whoops.
The Real 2010 E-class Interior. See it's the same as the Enterprise, just more comfy. And just look at that wood grain! It looks like a topo map!Yes, I wish it was a bit sexier inside and out. I also wish it came with a billion horsepower and a six-speed manual gearbox. I wish the million-gear automatic's shift lever were on the center console where it belongs. I wish the price cut from the Gen VIII E was more substantial. I wish a lot about it, really, but even as it stands this new E-class stands atop its class by a mile. It's better looking outside than all its rivals save the Jag XF and Lexus GS (which look identical to one another), but it's far better equipped than either. It's better looking inside than all of the same except the Audi A6 and the Jag. It's competitively priced (!) for a change. It's built to ride and accelerate like a proper Mercedes should, and it's actually put together like a proper Mercedes. Really, it's the best of the breed today, and it's a class act. Let's put it this way: shopping in this segment, I'd only stop by the Jaguar dealership on the way to the E, and there only because the cat rides with a ton of sexy and possesses that intangible and strangely intoxicating attribute called cool.
So at last we have it that with this being the new E-class, "this is Mercedes Benz" is finally something I can give a damn about.
So at last we have it that with this being the new E-class, "this is Mercedes Benz" is finally something I can give a damn about.
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