The motoring icons at Top Gear have maintained for years that the BMW M3 is for cocks. They're right, but I'm totally convinced the new, four-door M3 is the best sedan in the world. Maybe the best car in the world. I know I'm wrong: it isn't either of those things. I know it puts me perilously close to being a cock. I don't care. If you have $54,850 and are looking for a car, buy one. Ignore all the downsides. You will want to spend the rest of your life in it. And while that doesn't cut it for healthy relationships with women, that's what matters with cars. You'll love it. It's imperative that you get the four-door though. The coupe is really just for friendless, flaming cocks.
Now: Megan Fox. I know she isn't a car, but it doesn't matter. If she were a car though, I read somewhere that ninety percent of men would take her for a spin. Ninety percent! For Megan Fox! And considering three to four percent of men are exclusively attracted to their own sex, that's an astounding statistic. Advertising gurus, why don't I see her everywhere? On every billboard and TV commercial? If you ran an ad campaign with Ms. Fox, it doesn't matter what you're selling. Hemorrhoid cream would suddenly interest ninety percent of half of the population. And women would inevitably be jealous and try to mimic the Fox, so they'd buy it too. Soon enough, vast numbers among the female population would morph into Megan Fox copies. And hemorrhoid cream would outsell Viagra. It's...I wish you could envision the world I've just come up with.
Now: Megan Fox. I know she isn't a car, but it doesn't matter. If she were a car though, I read somewhere that ninety percent of men would take her for a spin. Ninety percent! For Megan Fox! And considering three to four percent of men are exclusively attracted to their own sex, that's an astounding statistic. Advertising gurus, why don't I see her everywhere? On every billboard and TV commercial? If you ran an ad campaign with Ms. Fox, it doesn't matter what you're selling. Hemorrhoid cream would suddenly interest ninety percent of half of the population. And women would inevitably be jealous and try to mimic the Fox, so they'd buy it too. Soon enough, vast numbers among the female population would morph into Megan Fox copies. And hemorrhoid cream would outsell Viagra. It's...I wish you could envision the world I've just come up with.
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