My mom has told me I'm fickle for years. Every time I tell her I like a new car, she has a standard comeback that reminds me that my opinion on the subject has accumulated negative worth over time.
So it bugs the hell out of me that Porsche's ridiculous Panamera four-door monster is beginning to grow on me. First, I blasted it for being ugly. Despite my mother's insistence otherwise, it really is hideous, especially viewed from the side. Then, I blasted Porsche for selling out again and building a car that only rich posers will buy and drive. I slammed them for further solidifying their growing reputation as a vain and petty man's marque. Most recently, I railed on Porsche for having such a poor standard equipment list on a ninety-thousand dollar car. Bluetooth, for example, is standard on cars a third that price. Wake up, Porsche.
Gradually, though, I've felt an increasing tug toward the Panamera. Yes, there's a lot to hate about it. But somehow, there's something strangely lovable about Porsche's new, enormous bastard. It's stupid, but that's the quality that's starting to grow on me. It doesn't hurt that it's stupid fast, especialy in top-line Turbo trim. I've just read reports that it's recently bested the Cadillac CTS-V's seven minute, fifty-nine second lap around the Nurburgring by three seconds. And the Caddy was the fastest four-door production car around that track. I know, CTS fans will counter that the Porsche is twice as expensive. Look, kids: learn how to lose gracefully. When Cadillac grows the brand image and balls to build a one-hundred and thirty thousand dollar sedan that can run with Ferraris, come back and pick a fight. Until then, if I had money, it'd be with the Porsche. Fickle? Yes, but I blame the Panamera.
So it bugs the hell out of me that Porsche's ridiculous Panamera four-door monster is beginning to grow on me. First, I blasted it for being ugly. Despite my mother's insistence otherwise, it really is hideous, especially viewed from the side. Then, I blasted Porsche for selling out again and building a car that only rich posers will buy and drive. I slammed them for further solidifying their growing reputation as a vain and petty man's marque. Most recently, I railed on Porsche for having such a poor standard equipment list on a ninety-thousand dollar car. Bluetooth, for example, is standard on cars a third that price. Wake up, Porsche.
Gradually, though, I've felt an increasing tug toward the Panamera. Yes, there's a lot to hate about it. But somehow, there's something strangely lovable about Porsche's new, enormous bastard. It's stupid, but that's the quality that's starting to grow on me. It doesn't hurt that it's stupid fast, especialy in top-line Turbo trim. I've just read reports that it's recently bested the Cadillac CTS-V's seven minute, fifty-nine second lap around the Nurburgring by three seconds. And the Caddy was the fastest four-door production car around that track. I know, CTS fans will counter that the Porsche is twice as expensive. Look, kids: learn how to lose gracefully. When Cadillac grows the brand image and balls to build a one-hundred and thirty thousand dollar sedan that can run with Ferraris, come back and pick a fight. Until then, if I had money, it'd be with the Porsche. Fickle? Yes, but I blame the Panamera.
Posts
